Recently I experienced a persistent and (I considered) aggressive ringing of my doorbell. I didn’t answer it. If you are going to ring my bell (of any description) do it nicely. After what seemed an age, the ringing ceased. Then I looked out of the window to see if I could catch the culprit. I saw a man walking away with an Amazon parcel under his arm. I got all excited thinking I had a surprise gift. So, I let him in. As I reached out with sweaty palms to grab my gift, he told me it wasn’t mine. Whose is it then?
He proceeded to tell me that the parcel was for my neighbour. My neighbour? That being the case, what’s he ringing my bell for? He asked me if I could keep it for them as they appeared to be out. What am I? A concierge? I wasn’t best pleased but being (good) neighbourly and all that I said okay. He said he would put a note on their door to tell them I had it.
A month later, I still did! Cluttering up my hallway. I had half a mind to open it and see if there was anything worth keeping. It made me wonder how long you can keep your neighbours’ unclaimed parcel before it becomes lawfully yours.
That reminds me. A few years ago, a similar thing happened. A delivery chap asked me to take in a parcel for one of the neighbours. I told him I couldn’t. Well, I didn’t know what was in it, did I? So, when I (politely) refused, he didn’t half give me a telling off. Peeps, listen to me. If you are going to order goods from Amazon, don’t go cruising halfway around the world or take a hike up Everest. Stay home and collect your stuff.
And as for you Mr Postman*, no, you don’t Ring My Bell**!