Some people have more money than sense. It has come to my attention (as these things often do) that expectant mothers are turning to ‘baby name consultants’ to select names for their children. I kid you not. And such ‘consultation’ does not come cheap. We are talking around £200 an hour. Say what?
Kate Wills, a mother-to-be at six months, has enlisted the help of baby name expert Colleen Slagen, based in Boston, to devise a name for her soon-to-be-born offspring (Americans know how to make money). Mind you, it’s catching on here too.
This is how it works. Firstly, Colleen Slagen arranges a ‘discovery meeting’ with the client (the mother). A discovery meeting? For what? Hold your horses, and I will tell you. This is to discover their personality. Eh? No! Yes! Then she sends the client (the mother) a questionnaire about names they like and why they like them (this sounds too much like hard work). Then, for your two hundred quid at least, she provides a bespoke list of suggestions. A list of suggestions? I would expect to be told what name to give my child for that price. Tell me what to call them! That is what I am paying for, isn’t it?
Are we now living in a world where people cannot think for themselves? And, worse, where they are prepared to pay vast sums of money to some ‘expert’ to do the thinking for them?
Or is it just a case of abdicating their parental responsibilities? This recalls a blog I wrote fourteen months ago relating to parents who could not be arsed to potty-train their children before they start Reception class. Furthermore, they send their little cherubs off to school in nappies and expect the teachers to change them as and when required.
Kate Mills points out that (being an old Millennial at 40), ‘naming your baby is a form of creative expression and a reflection of your personality’. Is this a Millennial problem, then? And, giving your child/children a name that is already in use is unthinkable, in modern parenting, she opines.
Kate also tells us that, at school, she was one of five Katherines in her class, and to have this situation today would be unimaginable. In my day, Linda and Susan were the most popular. None of them were troubled by this, and they all turned out all right. But if that were to happen today, I guess those with the same names in a class, or even a year group, would be seeking therapy. Butter me crumpets!
Let me tell you something, I have the best name. Ever. Ma and Pa did good there. And better still, it did not cost them a dime. Ha! Ha! Ha!
