Why would you? Why would you, what? Why would you take your phone with you to the loo? Imagine this: you go to the bathroom with every intention of doing one simple, straightforward thing – and yet, there you are twenty minutes later, knees locked, legs going numb, and laughing at a meme of a cat in sunglasses. Scrolling your phone on the loo has become such a modern habit that it’s almost a cultural norm.
First off, let’s talk about posture. Toilets were not designed for board meetings or Netflix marathons. The moment you sit down and pull out your phone, your body curls into that forward-leaning hunch. It might feel comfortable, but your neck is bent at a 45-degree angle, your shoulders are slumped, and your legs are slowly cutting off their own circulation.
Meanwhile, your lower half is under siege, too. Sitting longer than necessary puts pressure on and causes discomfort in places that absolutely do not appreciate it. In addition, you have been in there so long that your family is knocking on the door to check if you’re okay.
Then there is the germ situation. We don’t need to get into graphic details about what floats around in a bathroom, but let’s just say it’s not exactly a sterile environment. When you scroll on the loo, your phone becomes a five-inch petri dish. You might wash your hands afterwards, but how often do you give your phone a proper scrub? Studies have shown that smartphones often carry more bacteria than a toilet seat. So, when you are texting your friend or scrolling TikTok, remember: you might be giving those germs a free ride into your bed, your kitchen, and right onto your dinner table. Bon appétit.
But wait, there’s more. Piles. So, as well as getting a crooked neck whilst doomscrolling on the loo, you run the risk of developing piles. Yuk! A recent study (of adults already undergoing bowel cancer screening) from the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Centre in the US, found that two-thirds of those who had piles reported that they used their mobile whilst on the toilet. And according to the NHS, about half of the UK population develops one or more haemorrhoids at some stage of their life.
And, of course, there is the most obvious danger – the catastrophic phone drop. All it takes is one slip of the hand, one clumsy moment, and your precious smartphone is taking the plunge into a place no gadget should ever go. Suddenly, your big-ticket smartphone is doing the backstroke. And no amount of rice or prayers to the tech gods will undo the horror of fishing your phone out of the bowl. Forget screen protectors – what you need is therapy after that! Even if it survives, do you really want to be the one who has to fish it out? And time? Gone. You planned a two-minute visit, and here you are, twenty minutes later.
So, what’s the solution? Brace yourself: you could leave your phone outside. Shocking. Wild idea. It’s radical, I know, but you could simply leave your phone outside the loo. Give yourself five minutes of screen-free time each day. You might rediscover the lost art of being bored. A loo break could be the rare chance for your mind to wander, to breathe, or to just stare at the floor tiles and contemplate life. So, next time nature calls, think twice before you bring your phone with you. You might even find you get in and out faster, your posture thanks you, and your phone lives to see another, much cleaner day. Phones and thrones do not mix, people. Geddit?
